Dave doesn’t know Rose is trans and he addresses her as dude or man or bro or something like that and Rose corrects him, then Dave sarcastically says something like “nah bro I know your secret” and Rose isn’t sure whether he really does or not so she tries to act natural, which involves sarcastically playing along with this. Dave is still pretty sure she’s not trans but he can’t stop wondering. They end up in a situation like something out of Death Note, with Dave scheming to find out if she really is trans without revealing that he doesn’t know, while Rose is scheming to stop him from finding out, if he doesn’t already know, and find out whether he already knows, without revealing that she doesn’t know what he really thinks or that she is trans. Also, while all this is going on, they are falling in love with each other.
Ah, badfic. Here, we give this very special art form all the glory which it so rightly deserves.
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The first thing you hear is your baby bro’s rendition of 'Big Booty Bitches' from your cell.
The second thing is said brother’s voice,cold and swift, breaking in before you can even manage a ‘sup?’ or a ‘what the hell kind of time is this’.
You run a hand groggily though your hair. “What?”
"A sister. A twin, bro. Why the fuck did you never say anything."
You grimace slightly. “The fuck does it matter? She ended up on the other side of the county-“
"It matters a surprisingly fucking lot when it keeps us from getting a marriage license."
You fall out of bed.
Summary: AU all human fic. WARNING: this is a step sibling fic (same dad) if that’s not for you then go no further otherwise enjoy! Buffy and Spike are step siblings who have the same father but Spike has spend the past two years fighting his attraction to Buffy and with only two weeks left before he leaves for college he thinks he is home free but when their parents decided to go away on a second honeymoon Spike finds himself alone for the full two weeks with the object of his every desire.
L4D2 badfic: the apocalypse ain’t got nothin’ on this shit.
Ellis squatted down and licked Nick’s cheek, his sharp stubble was abrasive on his tongue. He licked again, savoring the slightly painful feel of it. It was one of those hurts that was worth it. Like yeah, it hurt, but that was part of the reward kind of. He wanted to lick every part of this man, from head to toe like a popsicle. Wanted to unwrap him from his white Armani wrapper and lick, lick, lick!
Nick cast the young man a curious glance as he received a third sliming across his jaw. Whenever Ellis got quiet like this, it was obvious what was on his mind. ”I’m not a salt-lick, you know,” he said.
Ellis drew back onto his haunches, giving his best seductive look possible, which wasn’t all that good yet on account of he hadn’t had much practice. But he was workin’ on it. ”I’m ‘ungry…” he dropped into a whisper, “…fer yew.”
Ellis continued lapping at his neck, coating the entire left side with saliva, up to behind his ear. Nick closed his eyes, concentrating on the wet warmth of the tongue caressing him and the heat radiating off the chest that hovered inches above his own. He could grab the kid’s wrists, shove him back against the floor, pin him, mount him… take him. He could already hear the boy’s loud moans ringing in his ears. Ellis was always loud.
Ellis slipped his tongue into Nick’s ear canal. Beneath him, the conman’s whole posture slumped with a sigh. Ellis probed deeper, then gave a jerk. He withdrew and wrinkled his nose. ”We need tuh get’chu some of them Q-tips next time we hit up a convenience store,” he said, the sharp taste of earwax still bitter on his tongue.
In spite of himself, Ellis gave a little shiver. He wasn’t all that good at resisting Nick’s demands. See, Nick was more the “get-to-business” type, but personally, he liked foreplay, lots an’ lots an’ lots uv foreplay. He reckoned he actually liked it better than the main attraction, so to speak. ’Cept Nick made it good. Sooo gewd. He almost gave in just thinkin’ about it, the way Nick would rise and fall against him, smooth an’ gentle, yet with a passionate urgency.
“Yew’ll git me,” the hick reassured him, and Nick grudgingly let up. Ellis flipped him over, so he was lying on his back, while Ellis himself stayed propped up on his palms. He lowered his head, kind of like a horse might drink from a trough, and began to lick, working his way lower and lower with each pass of his tongue…
“What’s that Sammy? Is that your chest? Does it feel good?”
Sam moaned again.
“Dean, stopped fucking around, just get in and drive me!”
Dean stopped stroking the hood of the Impala(and possibly Sam’s chest).
“That’s sound very dirty baby brother. I may just have to take that offer…”
Dean smirked and Sam groaned.
“That is so not what I meant Dean. How are you even going to do that, seriously, I don’t even see any possible-DEAN HOLY FUCK, CLOSE THE TRUNK CLOSE THE TRUNK CLOSE THE TRUNK!”
Dean laughed as He took each gun out of the trunk one by one, ever movement making Sam moan and whimper.
“D-dean, I’m serious. This isn’t funny anymore. S-stop. Oh Christ…”
Dean smirked and opened his pants, taking his hard cock out. He ran his hand along the inside of the trunk, making Sam scream with pleasure. Dean jerked his cock fast, trying to get off.
“Sammy, you know how much I love my Impala. You know I have actually had a Dream like this once? Of course, you weren’t the Impala, you were behind me. Fucking into me while I humped my beautiful car. That’s kind of the same, Isn’t it?”
Sam whimpered again, his voice barely audible through the Impala’s radio from where Dean was.Dean took his cock and rubbed it against the inside of the trunk, and Sam screamed in pleasure.
“FUCK DEAN! JESUS! IM, IM COMING. I FUCKING DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT I AM!”
Dean exchanges uncertain looks with Sam. “Just zap us the fuck out of here already. We can do the Q and A at a warm hotel.”
Cas looks at Dean intently, then the same to Sam. “I…I don’t think I can do that.”
“Excuse me?” Dean and Sam say in unison. Dean moves closer to Cas and Sam.
“It wouldn’t be right to remove you from the fathers,” Cas says, looking between the two chupacabras, now both standing next to Sam, though one clearly closer to Dean. Both are snarling at Cas.
“F-fathers?” Dean stutters.
“Yes, you’re carrying their children,” Cas says, in his monotone expression.
Weary of change beyond his control, Dean craved the numbness that came with alcohol. Thinking of drinking brought Dean’s attention to another matter he’d completely overlooked. He eyed the bathroom and looked down at his body, which wasn’t easy with his huge, round head. “Uh, Sam I think we’re missing some parts.”
Sam’s head shot up, “What do you mean?”
"I mean when was the last time you had to take a leak?" Dean gestured to the tiny bathroom door that they probably couldn’t even fit through.
"Oh!" Sam’s eyes widened and he pushed past Dean to reach the mirror over the sink. He flipped on the light, then twisted and turned in an effort to find the parts Dean already knew were missing. "We don’t have dicks anymore!" he announced after feeling himself between his legs with a paw.
Dean’s lips twitched in an effort not to laugh. “Does this mean we’re girl Care Bears?” Dean asked, winding Sam up.
In the mirror, Sam’s mouth dropped open, before his expression twisted into a scowl. “Of course not, Tenderheart Bear and Funshine Bear were male Care Bears in the cartoon and the movies!”